Learning, cont'd.

There is something truly magical about reduction-cool wood firing. I was just going over last semester in my mind, and I remembered the slow streams of flame inside the chimney of the double-wide. The view inside was equal to that of watching a red lava lamp. Fire has a life of its own, uncontrollable and beautiful. The vision of the chimney view in my head is as vivid as it was while I was standing next to the blazing kiln.
I can't believe how much personal progress I made in ceramics last semester. I learned about a million things that I didn't know before, and I gained confidence in firing and I started to develop a style of my own beyond functionality of the pot. I experienced a lot of firsts as well... in ceramics and other things ;) I mixed my first glaze, I fired a gas test kiln, I joined the ceramic guild, helped out with the annual chili bowl sale, participated in the holiday sale, learned to use the log splitter solo, introduced salt/soda into firings, fired/babysat a (defective) soda kiln for almost 15 hours straight, taught other students how to mix clay, pulled a midnight-6am wood firing shift, made a big coil pot (pretty wide and almost 2 feet tall), went to Capital Ceramics, had to grind shelves from a bad glaze, showed a drawing in the studio gallery on campus, dated someone 10 years older than I am, stood up to a bully in a catty confrontation :), got a raise at work without asking for one, and... well... yeah. It was a good semester for charging forward. I remember how nervous I was before last semester began. I didn't know much about firing, and I was completely intimidated by the very idea of ever firing a kiln by myself. I was nervous about mixing glazes, and I was nervous of whether other people in the studio took me seriously. I was afraid that if I applied for BFA review last semester that I wouldn't make it in because I wasn't very technically experienced in the studio. I was afraid of almost everything. I didn't have much faith in myself, and every time I went to do something I felt like I was running into the dark or jumping into thin air. I had no idea where I would end up next or how I would accomplish the next task without somebody holding my hand-- somehow I made it. I did have a lot of help from an excellent teacher, but part of what made her such a great teacher was that once she taught us the basics and answered our stupid questions, she told us to just go and do what we needed to. She didn't "hold our hands". She expected us to try on our own, even if a glaze or firing or pot turned out like shit. It's the experiences of failure that helped me learn so much last semester. Believe me, I asked a LOT of stupid questions. I basically felt like an idiot until the last few days of the semester.
It will probably be the same way again next semester. Learning is thrilling because you never know what to do next until you have to. Learning comes from necessity... or curiosity :) Anyway, I have no idea what to expect in glaze calculation class. I know I will be making a million test tiles. I bought a new glaze book, but I bet Todd will expect us to formulate some of our own glazes from scratch-- that's where the fun part begins. For me, I might do what I do with cooking... a pinch of this, a pinch of that. Once I know the basic ratios in my favorite glazes and the right amount of colorant to put in, I will turn brownies into blueberry muffins :) I don't know how Dan will teach his classes, either. I have never had him as a teacher before, but I've heard that he is great, and patient. I am interested to see how it goes... and he is interested in more sculptural creative forms and the stuff I doodle in my sketchbook and on my pots. He seems almost the opposite of my last teacher for throwing class. I just hope I can stay on top of all three of my studio classes-- he seems to think I can.
Classes start Monday. I have been working at my summer job for the last couple of weeks. My boss has started calling me the Artist in Residence here. I'm not actually living at the store (although there is a living space upstairs), but I work there almost every day of the week and my pots are scattered throughout the store. Plus, my pots are the only ones there. Last summer my boss was talking about building a wood kiln by the store and adding another room onto the side of the store to turn into a pottery studio. He suggested that I could teach classes to people there, like a community life-span class. I think it's an amazing idea, but I don't know how to go about building a kiln and I don't have a functional pottery wheel or any regular kilns. It would be a big expensive project, but if he decides to get more serious about it, I will jump on board. For now, that's just a pipe dream.
I've been learning a lot at work as well. I learned how to make fresh ginger ale from scratch, make herbal salves, process herbal tinctures, make organic pumpkin muffins and sprouted wheat bread, how to separate whey from yogurt to use as a culture for the ginger ale, and probably a bunch of other little things... can't think of them right now :) but I am learning a lot this year already. I guess I shouldn't be so nervous about learning new things... they seem to work out all right.